A.C. Newman

There are those people, well in my experience it is a good many people...that do this thing. This thing that once the conversation is over, the frustration just mounts as you wonder where it really went or what the point of it was. More often, over and over, I see this happen. And I wonder, why even bother? You clearly don't value my opinion that much, you just want to hear what you want.

I have, throughout the years, been that girl that people come to advice. I've always been that friend that people will come back to for their little therapy sessions over and over because they know I will listen and give advice when they want. But do they want it? This is the question I ask of myself. More often during these times I believe that when people ask for your advice, they are really asking for what they want to hear. And then, when they do not get this,  they either end the conversation, give a cryptic response, or my favorite get defensive over whatever statement you just made. Don't they realize that they came to you for advice? And that more over, since you are the one in the situation maybe you can see it a little more clearly?

I always wondered why I was that girl that my girlfriends would always drop after a little bit of time. I was that girl that would go above and beyond for my friendships, even at younger ages, including being the one that would give a birthday gifts when I would get nothing in return, or call and call and call them and never receive a phone call back. In short, embarrassingly enough, I wasn't good (and am still not, with the exception of a handful of my very close friends) in keeping a friend. Am I too honest? I don't believe that I am brutal in my words by any means. And a lot of times I feel the person out, if I don't think they want my advice, I just don't give it, but rather listen.

But back to the issue at hand...the ones that do ask for said advice and in turn, never take it. I try to present all sides clearly, never favoring one or the other, but playing devil's advocate on all the issues.  Don't they realize, we just care not to see them hurt?  Sigh.  Why bother? Ever notice that the advice you give on it would have worked better in the long run anyhow? 

Just a girl learning that she can't live any ones life for them, nor does she want to, and they have to learn for themselves, as hard as that may be for us to watch.